i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
