This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
