He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
