We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
