I'm really into asian looking animals
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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