Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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