I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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