May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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