glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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