theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
