thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
