Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
