Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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