this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
