dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
