Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
