omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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