Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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