i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
