there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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