Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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