When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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