all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize