4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
