I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
wow bdsm is so cute
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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