im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You ate ashes out of my bong
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize