My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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