plz talk dirty to me
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
