Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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