I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
