He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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