you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
