I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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