i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize