I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
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Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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