just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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