Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
