they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
