Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
