Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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