mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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