Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
