never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You ruined the universe
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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