Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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