My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
