Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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