evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
