he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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