ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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