Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He shit in the fireplace
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
