Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
