Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
