the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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