he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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