he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
