I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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