I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
