Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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