I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
