we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
