Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole

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  (817): i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole http://tfl.nu/vkxw
  Replies (21) Good night (833) Bad night (6924)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?

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  (402): he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now? http://tfl.nu/i3gk
  Replies (23) Good night (931) Bad night (7960)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes

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  (313): I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes http://tfl.nu/9zua
  Replies (50) Good night (5442) Bad night (755)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?

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  (508): I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation? http://tfl.nu/jmz5
  Replies (52) Good night (12360) Bad night (2786)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.

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  (623): Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth. http://tfl.nu/v51o
  Replies (17) Good night (962) Bad night (3162)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops

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  (605): The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops http://tfl.nu/xgyz
  Replies (10) Good night (3729) Bad night (712)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one

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  (314): Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one http://tfl.nu/zke4
  Replies (3) Good night (993) Bad night (3014)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed

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  (410): i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed http://tfl.nu/6788
  Replies (2) Good night (2997) Bad night (660)
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  (209): View more from California

  I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird

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  (209): I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird http://tfl.nu/f8av
  Replies (14) Good night (1935) Bad night (762)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now

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  (+44): I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now http://tfl.nu/a890
  Replies (3) Good night (1231) Bad night (535)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick

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  (514): Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick http://tfl.nu/2v5j
  Replies (15) Good night (906) Bad night (1373)
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  (714): View more from California

  todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.

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  (714): todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera. http://tfl.nu/lq8k
  Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (345)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.

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  (+61): It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls. http://tfl.nu/jcbb
  Replies (1) Good night (1071) Bad night (436)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.

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  (712): I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray. http://tfl.nu/8ri0
  Replies (5) Good night (1810) Bad night (454)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can't find our DD

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.

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  (919): Can't find our DD (1-919): He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door. http://tfl.nu/0qwm
  Replies (4) Good night (983) Bad night (162)

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