it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
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A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
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There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night