Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them

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  (724): I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them http://tfl.nu/zqoq
  Replies (14) Good night (925) Bad night (3716)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.

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  (419): doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars. http://tfl.nu/h8m5
  Replies (15) Good night (6047) Bad night (764)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant

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  (817): You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant http://tfl.nu/26do
  Replies (16) Good night (804) Bad night (7654)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning

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  (804): you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning http://tfl.nu/f3jq
  Replies (33) Good night (9798) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.

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  (612): I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda. http://tfl.nu/fjuw
  Replies (111) Good night (6790) Bad night (2556)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...

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  (940): I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night... http://tfl.nu/gxgg
  Replies (10) Good night (6384) Bad night (1239)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink

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  (510): You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink http://tfl.nu/uf46
  Replies (3) Good night (2941) Bad night (887)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.

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  (803): My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband. http://tfl.nu/w0zf
  Replies (5) Good night (2068) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?

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  (731): There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight? http://tfl.nu/39pd
  Replies (8) Good night (1706) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair

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  (518): Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair http://tfl.nu/llhv
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.

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  (651): Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong. http://tfl.nu/nhsj
  Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?

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  (256): On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs? http://tfl.nu/5plk
  Replies (1) Good night (814) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.

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  (269): I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest. http://tfl.nu/z8nn
  Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.

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  (732): We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of. http://tfl.nu/cdwl
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.

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  (978): THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT. http://tfl.nu/7was
  Replies (5) Good night (346) Bad night (409)

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